Steel Panther "Heavy Metal Rules"

Updated: Sep 7, 2019


If you were waiting for the biggest sexual explosion of metal in 2019, you have cum....um I mean come to the right place.

Get ready to get rocked by the fifth studio album "Heavy Metal Rules" from Steel Panther.

Doesn't matter if you're a new Panther fan or been here through all the gangbangs and gloryholes, this album is going to send your ears into a climax only the Gods of Pussy can bring.


A lot of people have a tendency to shrug this band off as a joke, lyrically they mainly talk about metal, fucking

bitches, and drugs. However I think right now living in a time with everyone being offended by literally everything, we are lacking some sort of comedic relief.

Especially in the Metal community.

Why wasn't Mötley Crüe written off as a "joke band" when they released "Piece Of Your Action" or when WASP released "Animal"? I am not trying to throw shade on either of these bands, those songs are incredible, I just don't understand why fans write Panther off as a joke but then walk around singing along to "Ain't Talkin' Bout Love".

What I think a lot of people dismiss is the fact that these are incredible musicians and I think that's what this album really showcases the most. The instrumentals on previous albums were great but Steel Panther has outdone themselves this time around.


For example the guitar riff on "I Ain't Your Bitch" is so gnarly, heavy and borderline thrash. "Sneaky Little Bitch'' is so groovy and catchy.

I think Satchel is one of the most underrated guitar players in modern day music, you can't help but to hear his talents on every single track.


Another thing on this album in the terms of the instrumentals is I think like this album showcases Stix Zadinia's best efforts yet.

He keeps everything still rockin' but keep a tight precision blows my damn mind away every time.

"Let's Get High Tonight" the drum beats in that song pound through your chest.


The first track off the album and the first single "All I Wanna Do Is Fuck (Myself Tonight) is insanely catchy and Michael Starr's vocals

are displayed in the best fashion and shows why he's one of the best front-men in the business.

The line of "You tell me you're a virgin, but I'm late for my plastic surgeon" gets me every time.



"Always Gonna Be A 'Hoe" is the second single off the record and it starts off this with really rad acoustic bit then dives right into the rockin' Satchel guitar sounds. The stand out for me with this song was how incredible the music video is. It's one of my top favorite videos of them ever, almost like a little movie.

If you haven't seen it yet check it out.




"Fuck Everybody" is my personal favorite on the record for all the reasons I listed above, and the lyric content.

It's about the days that literally every single thing goes wrong and "everyone can suck my dick". It has an anthem quality about it,

and I'm really pumped to hopefully hear it live at some point because I can picture a crowd screaming along with this song.


The title track "Heavy Metal Rules" is such a blunt honest banger. It could've been really easy to write this song as a cheesy stereotypical song about metal,

However I felt like they outdid themselves with keeping it super original. They could've taken the easy way out and done a spin on "Rock 'N' Roll All Night" which was what I was sort of expecting. However what I got was this gnarly punch you in the gut banger. I really enjoyed this track.


The press release for this album said that they " created the heavy metal version of a self-help manual and ultimate party album combined."

which I think is the best description of

this album. It has its jokes but "I Ain't Buying What You're Selling" it's one of the more

serious songs I have heard Panther release. The song in a nutshell is about the pharmaceutical industry ,how they push all these products on you by trying to scare you into buying them or else you will die of some horrible disease.

"Maybe you believe the bullshit

or maybe you're just lyin', but I'm not buying".

I have a soft spot for acoustics (especially with this band) and I feel like they ended the album on such a good note

choosing that song"



Heavy Metal Rules is set to release September 27th 2019 and I highly recommend you check out this bitchin' record.



The boys will be celebrating the release of "Heavy Metal Rules" with a concert at the "Whisky A Go Go'' in West Hollywood, California on September 26, 2019.


You can also catch them on a huge tour this winter all the dates are below.




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